April 8 through July 26, 202

Spring and Summer 2020

Getting a cancer diagnosis is life changing.  Having cancer during a pandemic is complicated.  Undergoing cancer treatments without the support of friends and family is unthinkable. Because this is true, we all decided that I would stay with Mom while she underwent her treatment for Diffuse B Cell Lymphoma.  I arrived on April 8^th and on the ninth she had the surgical procedure to place her port.  Two weeks later her chemo treatments began and then she endured 15 rounds of radiation.  No one should ever have to do cancer alone.  Because of the visitor restrictions, she never had anyone sit with her while she was being treated.  When she had her port placed, when she had to go to the ER…I left her at the door and waited outside.  At the very least, she had someone to go home with.  No one can truly prepare you for the reality of the harshness of these treatments.  It is a hard thing to watch someone go through…but my mother is a tough lady.  She is the very best patient and followed all of the “rules”.  She had an indomitable spirit and a strong unshakable faith.  She NEVER complains…and if she makes a small suggestion that something isn’t right…it really isn’t!  Early reports are all good.  The tumor and the nodes in her neck are no longer palpable.  Her last PET scan showed that the nodes no longer light up…this is all terrific news.  Her next scan is in October, then we will know if the chemo and radiation truly eradicated all the nasty stuff. 

One of the hardest things I ever had to do…but we used a pretty cape and we put on pretty music and dimmed the lights…and I cut…and hair is NOT my forte!

Last day of radiation…its a terrible picture but its all I’ve got…

There were lots of good days and we stayed entertained by exercising and walking.

Lots of projects were accomplished as well.  Windows and curtains were washed, filing cabinets sorted and copious amounts of shredding, untangling the sewing box, washing patio furniture…but then some fun stuff like puzzles, painting, cooking, planting flowers, cleaning up the laptop, starting a new iPhone and a new Kindle, Spanish lessons, and embroidering….and so much more! Apparently, I have trouble sitting still!

An hour of Duolingo every day to keep up with my Spanish!

The very best blueberry buckle!

Dill Pickle pizza…we will try almost anything!!

1000 piece puzzle and at the end we are missing a piece…

And 2 months later…the missing piece!!

A failed attempt…I did not enjoy crocheting like I thought I would.

This is just a tiny portion of the shredding…now Mom has most things online and green!

Remembering always to be grateful and to look for beauty in the world around us.

Before her diagnosis, Mom had asked for a garden plot again this year and though I have had very little vegetable growing experience, I agreed to take care of it.  It was therapeutic to be outside hacking and hoeing the soil and then to see things growing and producing…it was very rewarding.

We read a lot and watched bunches of movies.  We celebrated Easter, Memorial Day, Mother’s Day, my birthday, my anniversary, and July 4^th together.  Even though it was a tough time and there were some hard days, we had lots of wonderful quality time together and lots of laughter and remembering and fun!

During this time my mom lost her wonderful friend, Malcolm.  He had been a part of our family for many years and it was hard to see him go. 

Mom and I had a terrific army of angels.  My son, Kyle and Allison and my sister, Debbie kept us well supplied with groceries and other stuff.  Tim and Kyle shaved their heads in a wonderful gift of moral solidarity.  David and Andrea were immeasurably kind and supportive.  We relied on them for information and advice and phone calls and FaceTime. My mother is fortunate to live in a caring community and hardly a day passed without someone among her legion of friends sending a card or making a phone call or gifting hand soap or bringing the newspaper or delivering toilet paper.

Two things can be true at the same time.  While it was true that I loved being with my mom and taking care of her, it was also true that I missed Tim like crazy!  On Monday July 20^th, it was time to go home.  We were hopeful that we could go to Atlanta to see David and Andrea and the boys but Atlanta is a COVID hotspot right now and David has been working in a COVID ICU. We decided to take the RV and go north.  We are able to isolate very effectively in the RV and will work to minimize our risk as we travel.  Hopefully it will be cooler and we can do some of the outdoor things we love.  As usual we have no plan.  We don’t know what we will find but we are going looking!

Two favorite pictures of my little men from the past several months…